Sick of the virgin "banter"
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I've got the same problem except i'm not a virgin. Just really shy.
The guys i live with and go out with are all either in relationships or regularly pulling girls. They often talk about girls as if they're nothing more than sex objects and i feel REALLY uncomfortable listening to it. I don't want to just follow what they're doing, i have no interest in ONS', casual sex or anything like that. I want a nice girl who i can take care of because i really miss the closeness you get in a relationship.
They've clearly picked up on my 'awkwardness' and often make fun of me for it, i know its just banter but its really not helping my confidence. Sometimes when we're out i get pushed into random girls or one of the guys will go over and whisper god knows what in their ear, i get so embarassed. Sometimes they will point out a random girl and encourage me to go and say hi, but i just can't do it. Even though i've had girlfriends before i'm so insecure about how i look. I know i'm not ugly, i just can't see why a girl would be interested.
Whenever i'm out and see a girl who looks friendly, i always get really nervous that she'd assume i wanted to have sex with her and she would ignore me, be rude to me or laugh at me with her friends. I'm sure there are plenty of nice girls out there, some of them may be just as awkward as i am but i just can't go up and say hi. All i can do is smile. I really hate myself for it because anywhere else i would go up and say hi without a second thought. I'm comfortable around girls as friends but when anything romantic is involved my self confidence just goes.
If i were you i wouldn't aim for your first time to be from a ONS. **** what anyone else says. You're unlikely to see that person again and if something goes wrong, the girl isn't going to be very sympathetic. Thats hardly going to help you confidence wise is it? In a relationship, your inexperience won't be an issue. My first girlfriend was a lot more experienced than i was, i was so bloody nervous at first (as i will no doubt be when i eventually meet a new girl here) but she was really sweet about it.
Thats not to say you shouldn't still go up and talk to girls when you're out though. Its still practice and you can still meet someone nice - if you're getting along get their number, meet them again and go from there. Can't really give any advice here because i have the same problem myself 
3rd year male and still a virgin, not by choice. Clearly.
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1 Hour Ago: 4th October 2011 01:43 
3rd year male and still a virgin, not by choice. Clearly. Profile5'11 male
3rd year at uni
20 years of age
Past Sexual Experience
None
Past relationship
1,which was two years ago. Was told that "I had sex on the brain and appeared sexually frustarted." Conclusion- 3 month relationship with no sex. Some relationship 
Number and outcome of approaches
Been clubbing but get rejected- A LOT.
Mates in summer suggested we chat up girls off the street. Refused to do it as let's be honest it's suicide.
Problem
Starting uni again and just don't understand why everyone seems to be pairing up but me. Be that in a club or outside a club.Both of my housemates have relationships and many of my "lads" make it sound so easy.
Failed solutions
Got involved in sports to a decent level
Got involved in Journalism
Went out to parties/clubs couple a times a month
This seemed to only encourage thinking about compatibility based on CV-like points; where girls were attracted to the guys who had the highest score: most friends, highest grades; best body etc.
My questions
Why am I so undesirable?
Are views so totally off the mark?
I've tried manning up and trying to be goal driven but that doesn't stop urges. Besides trying not to get laid doesn't seem all that manly to me...
1 Hour Ago: 4th October 2011 01:46 Re: 3rd year male and still a virgin, not by choice. Clearly. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. There are many men who didn't loose their virginity in their early twenties. The whole sex thing is not a race. TAKE IT FROM ME... you want your first time to be with someone special. Having sex for the first time can make you very nervous if you aren't with the right girl. II was so nervous when I first had sex, but my girlfriend understood and the experience was great because we helped each other. wait it out. Don't have sex with some crazy club slut
You need new mates as well and you need to go to new places. It sounds like they watch too much Inbetweeners because you are obviously going to all the wrong places!!! You WILL NOT find a decent girl in a club!!! Expand your social horizons and go to places you have never been before. Join societies, join sports clubs, try jazz bars, etc.
Oh, and you are manly enough. Screw what all the other bellends on here say to stroke their own ego. You have a penis so you are a man. I think it's more of a confidence issue. Seek councelling if it's an issue. You probably have a good councelling service in your uni. Stop looking at everyone else and concentrate on you because you are an amazing person.
Improve your mental health, get exercise, concentrate on your studies, try new things and the girls will come to you.
Last edited by jblackmoustache; 1 Hour Ago at 01:56. 1 Hour Ago: 4th October 2011 02:04 Re: 3rd year male and still a virgin, not by choice. Clearly. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. There are many men who didn't loose their virginity in their early twenties. The whole sex thing is not a race. TAKE IT FROM ME... you want your first time to be with someone special. Having sex for the first time can make you very nervous if you aren't with the right girl. II was so nervous when I first had sex, but my girlfriend understood and the experience was great because we helped each other. wait it out. Don't have sex with some crazy club slut
You need new mates as well and you need to go to new places. It sounds like they watch too much Inbetweeners because you are obviously going to all the wrong places!!! You WILL NOT find a decent girl in a club!!! Expand your social horizons and go to places you have never been before. Join societies, join sports clubs, try jazz bars, etc.
Oh, and you are manly enough. Screw what all the other bellends on here say to stroke their own ego. You have a penis so you are a man. I think it's more of a confidence issue. Seek councelling if it's an issue. You probably have a good councelling service in your uni. Stop looking at everyone else and concentrate on you because you are an amazing person.
Improve your mental health, get exercise, concentrate on your studies, try new things and the girls will come to you.
It probably is a confidence issue.Also this need to achieve in order to get a GF is warped.
