Basically, I'm feeling really, really, really down since finishing sixth form.

It's down to a number of things that I can point out, but I'm not sure why certain things are affecting me the way they are..

One of the main things is the fact that my best friend has recently moved away for uni. She's not exactly the other end of the country but nor is she close enough to come home often, so I'm hardly going to see her now, if I do even at all. I do rely on her a lot, which I know is a bit stupid/childish at my age (almost 19) but she's been my best friend since the start of high school, more or less, and we have very, very similar interests/music taste/hobbies/everything. She's basically like my unbiological twin, in some respects. She didn't go to the same sixth form as me because she decided to move to a different one for some reason or another, so I didn't see her THAT MUCH anyway, but I did speak to her online almost every night, so it was fine.

Before she moved away to uni she promised me that we'd still speak often (not every night as before, which is obviously to be expected) and that we'd still be, for lack of a better way to put it, "best friends".. except that since she moved, she's barely spoken to me, and when she has, it' obvious that she's not really bothered (texts which don't make much sense, mainly), or that she's only speaking to me because she feels like she has to. Which I don't want at all. I understand that it's still freshers week and that she's probably still settling into her new room/uni, etc, but I'm not going to lie, I'm quite upset that she's already not keeping to her word even a little bit. I do realise that I sound like a child, and that's partly what bothers me the most. I wish I wasn't so upset by it all, because I'm fully aware that it's childish and stupid, but the fact of the matter is that I am bothered, and I don't know what to do about it.

I do have other friends, albeit not a massive group or anything, and like me they are all going to one of the local universities, so I'll still see them around. I have a good friend who is even doing the same course at the same uni as me, and who like me, hasn't moved out into halls or anything. So it's not like I'm completely alone, although I do feel like that at the moment, as I feel like nobody really understands why I'm so upset about stuff. I don't really understand myself.

The second part of the problem is the fact that, as I said above, I didn't move out for uni. I think that it was a big mistake on my part to stay at home, as I don't live IN the city, but rather about 20 minutes outside it. I feel like I'm missing out big time on opportunities to make friends, as I'm not a loud or confident person by any sense of the words, so I can't just walk up to strangers and start chatting away. I feel like if I was PUT in a situation (like moving into halls) where there are people I'd be forced to talk to, then I'd be fine. But seeing as though I live at home, finding opportunities to talk to new people is much harder than I expected. The reason I didn't move out is the plain and simple fact that I know I wouldn't be able to cope on my own. And even if I did chance it, I would have been living off pennies, quite literally, as my parents couldn't afford to give me money each month/week/whatever, and my student loan would have barely covered the cost of the accomodation.

The fact is that seeing my best friend who moved away making all kinds of new friends, despite being as quiet if not more so than me, is making me kind of jealous and despairing. I feel at a real disadvantage, because if she can do it, why can't I? I'm not, as far as I know, a complete weirdo, and I enjoy going out every now and then so it's not like I'm completely anti social. I just need people I can go out with, as I'm not the type of person who can turn up at something on my own and muscle in.

I know most of it is stuff I can fix myself (join societies, etc) I just don't know how to force myself into situations that I know I'm going to find horrendously awkward and stressful. And I genuinely have no idea how I can make myself less bothered by the fact that my friend doesn't seem to want to know me all of a sudden. It's a weight on my mind and I don't know what to do about it.

Tl;dr - My best friend has moved away to uni and has seemingly forgotten I exist already, and I'm finding it difficult to make new friends in my own uni due to living at home and being overly shy and underconfident.

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