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For questions and advice about dating, love and committed relationships. 51 Minutes Ago: 14th October 2011 22:39   Abusive relationship, can't get past it. Advice? I'm 21, been with my bf for 4 years. 3 of which we've been emotionally abusive to each other, and he's been physically abusive to me. He's tried to strangle me, bashed my head into walls, etc. It's not nice.

But I just can't get away. He's not like that all the time and he doesn't just go for me out of the blue, I've usually said something or been in a temper, or tried to walk off first. When he's nice he's really nice, we think on the same wavelength and I just don't notice other men at all, and haven't for the entire relationship, even though I get my share of interest.

I have tried to ditch him, but when he knows I'm in one of 'those moods' he won't meet me, and if I text him to say it's over he ignores the text. Eventually I go back on what I said and get a reply like 'what a surprise'. I don't know why I keep going back on it!

Part of me wants to never see him again, part of me wants to see him right now. I just don't know what to do. A select few of my friends know about this but they can't empathise, all they can say is that I need to find the strength to break away. I doubt anyone can give any better advice, but anyone with a similar experience might be able to help.

32 Minutes Ago: 14th October 2011 22:58   Re: Abusive relationship, can't get past it. Advice? But I just can't get away. He's not like that all the time and he doesn't just go for me out of the blue, I've usually said something or been in a temper, or tried to walk off first.That's no justification for bashing your head into walls or strangling you.. Stop blaming yourself. When he's nice he's really nice, we think on the same wavelength and I just don't notice other men at all, and haven't for the entire relationship, even though I get my share of interest.Typical abusive cycle of behaviour.. Anyone who can be violent to you is not nice, end of, stop excusing his behaviour. I have tried to ditch him, but when he knows I'm in one of 'those moods' he won't meet me, and if I text him to say it's over he ignores the text. Eventually I go back on what I said and get a reply like 'what a surprise'. I don't know why I keep going back on it!He doesn't respect you, and you know that already.. Next time you text him to say it's over, delete his number and all other methods you have to contact him. It'll make it easier. Part of me wants to never see him again, part of me wants to see him right now. I just don't know what to do.You do know what you need to do, hence why you keep trying to break up with him. You know you need to break up with him and stay away from him.

PM me if you want to about this, it's not the best thing to talk about in detail on a public forum.

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