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Hi there,
Just need to let off some steam. The back story is that I have gone to uni- am now in my 3rd year and live with 4 friends in a lovely house near uni. I have had a pretty weird childhood which left me with years of depression and some social difficulties but despite that I have done well on my course and I have friends and a great boyfriend.

We are 5 friends living together. I say friends- we are not all exactly friends. There is one girl who I cannot stand because she pretends to love everyone like a sister and projects an image of herself that everyone buys (apart from those who have lived with her here). She is very two faced and has caused so many problems in this house incl. trying to sleep with peoples ex.s and doing NOTHING to help clean the house. I think she is fully aware that people dont want to have a go at a friend and so uses the oppertunity to leave her stuff everywhere and never help. She preaches about saving the earth and so on, yet wastes so so so much food and washes all her clothes twice because she forgets they were in the machine. She is incredibly materialistic for someone who preaches about how mankind is materialistic (she can;t see through her own bs)...She also gets very nasty when drunk but everyone who knows her thinks shes amazing. If we didnt live together, I would cut all contact. She is not a good friend to any of us yet because she is so 'fabulous' (shes good looking and talks herself up alot) and projects a great image my other friends seem to forgive her of anything.

She has a brother and her boyfriend over every day. Both of whom I think know that Ive had words with her (nothing unfair at all, I cant clean up after her and pay her way and shes done some things that have been hurtful to all of us, repeatedly). They are extremely protective and think shes gods gift. I can deal with that. However, having them around all the time (and this often includes her mum aswell) is getting too much. They are cold to me and overly affectionate to everyone else who hasnt been honest about how they feel. Its getting to the point of not going to the loo when i want because they are all in the hallway and I dont feel like I want to go near them with pjs on.

Thats one issue, which is copable, I wont live with her forever.

The other is that my closest friend, she lives here too, has turned on me quite suddenly. She has just been away for a camp america trip and has clearly come back feeling shes a changed person and is cutting out anything holding her back. Which is apparently me. Over the year we have lived here so far she has always tried to get me to open up and tell her everything. I do prefer to keep negative stuff to myself because I dont enjoy sharing it. However, as shes picked up on weird things about myself ( an example being that I dont say 'good morning' because for 20 years my father didnt like to acknowledge me... thus I'm not used to saying it ). So over time things have been explained and she knows alot about me. I do find people can be really cruel to me because they pick up on the fact I'm not entirly happy underneath. These tend to be the ppl who arnt worth knowing but they come as part of groups and cant be avoided. Most people happily accept that I'm not chirpy all the time and like plenty of my other qualities but sometimes I do get frustrated at the people who put me down. I explain this to said friend and also how it can take alot of energy to be smiley etc. I'm not unhappy- just not good at plastering a smile on my face when my mind is elsewhere. Like I say, I have a lot of friends who have experience of depression or just dont care and take me how I am... however this friend was my closest. And I thought thats how she felt but apparently not. She told me I choose to be negative and that I dont try hard enough to be percieved as happy???!!! She doesnt want to be close any more because she said everything is so complex with me and she just wants to be able to have a night out without me feeling down at the end of it. She chose to do this after I texted her in an emotional state ( I had been cheated on for a whole year by someone who I loved very much, I was devestated).

I'm frustrated because we have had so many good times, and I have been honest about feeling down after a night out maybe twice. She is a very very cheery person who everyone adores and she doesnt have any experience of people being nasty to her, or of depression. I think she just cannot understand. It is frustrating to see everyone love her just because shes cheery and ditsy. I am frustrated that despite everything she knows about my life she can actually conclude that I choose to be negative (even though I laugh ALL the time- I just have off times). I'm frustrated that she says I put too much burdon on her when its been her saying 'I don't want there to be things you dont tell me'. And shes been offended before when I've said I wanted to keep some personal stuff to myself!

Now she is being almost like an aquaintance with me and best mates with the other girl I mentioned. Despite all the stuff the other girl has done, all of it is forgotten because shes the more 'desirable' and easier friend to be with.

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