AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
Discussion for current and prospective students about social life at university, city life, societies and everything above living away from home. Keep accommodation, finance and university specific discussion in their own forums. 1 Hour Ago: 25th October 2011 23:59   Is it ok to not be too bothered about friends? Ok so basically for the first couple of weeks I was miserable because I find it hard to make friends and I felt left out of stuff.
But now I'm thinking it doesn't matter too much. I love my course - love it to pieces - and I'm not going to become an insane isolated crazy cat-lady, because I do go to societies and discuss things in seminars and have acquaintances etc etc. Really I work best with small doses of socialisation anyway. I think the main problem was that I was told that uni students are expected to make lots of friends and go out a lot (and I feel pressure quite badly). Now I don't like going out too much and alcohol makes me pretty dumb - something that bothers me - and for a while I was going out drinking anyway.
Now I'm just thinking - be myself, do what I enjoy, get on with the course, obviously be friendly but if I don't have friends maybe I can live with that.
Is this the right way to go, or should I still be trying to meet people and make friends? A big problem is thinking about accommodation for next year, I don't have anyone who would be happy to live with me yet. :/

EDIT: Oh, I do enjoy company and having people to confide in. Back home I had loads of friends and loved them all and they gave me really good support and I had fun with them. But it doesn't look like that's gonna happen anytime soon here...

Last edited by rosiemaphone; 1 Hour Ago at 00:00. 59 Minutes Ago: 26th October 2011 00:07   Re: Is it ok to not be too bothered about friends? Ok so basically for the first couple of weeks I was miserable because I find it hard to make friends and I felt left out of stuff.
But now I'm thinking it doesn't matter too much. I love my course - love it to pieces - and I'm not going to become an insane isolated crazy cat-lady, because I do go to societies and discuss things in seminars and have acquaintances etc etc. Really I work best with small doses of socialisation anyway. I think the main problem was that I was told that uni students are expected to make lots of friends and go out a lot (and I feel pressure quite badly). Now I don't like going out too much and alcohol makes me pretty dumb - something that bothers me - and for a while I was going out drinking anyway.
Now I'm just thinking - be myself, do what I enjoy, get on with the course, obviously be friendly but if I don't have friends maybe I can live with that.
Is this the right way to go, or should I still be trying to meet people and make friends? A big problem is thinking about accommodation for next year, I don't have anyone who would be happy to live with me yet. :/

EDIT: Oh, I do enjoy company and having people to confide in. Back home I had loads of friends and loved them all and they gave me really good support and I had fun with them. But it doesn't look like that's gonna happen anytime soon here...

You're a bit like me. I have friends, I am very comfortable and enjoy myself in social situations, but I don't have any need to have company. Truth be told, I don't care about my friends too much either. My parents are the only people I truly care about. 49 Minutes Ago: 26th October 2011 00:17   Re: Is it ok to not be too bothered about friends? Lemme clean this up.

Introverts are NOT (or rarely are):
-Antisocial. Sometimes kinda asocial, but... Not always.
-Shy. I'm an introvert and I'm usually the loudest.
-Submissive. Some can't be bothered to speak up and waste energy talking to someone to get what they want, it's not the same thing.
-Emotionless. It's on a different set of scales than being a 'thinker' or a 'feeler'.
-Socially awkward. Some just don't care what you think.

Introverts do need:
-Contact. They're just more selective. Rather than make ten friends by pretending, she or he will make three close friends, often quickly.
-Conversations. Introverts typically prefer deep conversations and very often dislike small talk - but plenty of introverts learn to handle small-talk.
-Friends. Confidants, people to share interests. Just not loads. 'Quality not quantity'. Honesty comes into it.

Introverts aren't shut ins. They don't always hate people. They're human. They feel. They just get tired out by talking to other people. They rely on themselves. They get overstimulated more easily then extroverts and need time to switch off.

It's a very, very common thing, but society prefers extroverts. It doesn't make you weird or abnormal or mean. It means you are more comfortable and calm by yourself. You can enjoy conversation but ultimately, you will retreat to process that alone. That's the difference. You can look this up. It's not actually about social interaction at all, it's about interaction with the world at large which, in general, involves people.

Are you tired out by going outside and meeting people? Even if you enjoy yourself? Normal - introvert.
Introverts should work on tolerating company. You seem to have that one down.
Does it energise you and you feel bored when you're alone? Extrovert.
Extroverts need to work on occupying themselves without relying on others.

Pretty basic way of defining it there. You can be loud, garrulous, opinionated, assertive, friendly and... still need to retreat to find some time to think it over, making you an introvert.

Last edited by Schemilix; 45 Minutes Ago at 00:21.

View the original article here